I spent nearly 20 years of my life doing things that I am asked and expected to do. I learned things that I am supposed to learn, which everyone around me expected me to learn. I was (am) living in a socially engineered world. I was expected to do well in my academic. The system of meritocracy has confined my full potential instead of unleashing it.
I have never (or little known to have) study something for the sake of learning something new. Perhaps, I forgot that I actually did that when I was younger. When I was hungry for knowledge, when I was curious about the world, when I knew I would be happy to learn new things.
I am trying so hard to be back to that period of time, to that kind of mindset which would constantly keep me in the mood of learning. But here am I in a university, feeling inadequate in every field, unable to find time to improve on things that I WANT TO. I failed to enrich myself with my passions. There are times when I don’t even know what I can be in the future, nor what I am good at. My time is occupied by things and curriculum planned for me. No one compensates my 20+ years and yet My parents and I are paying for the loss of my precious time.
Perhaps that is why those successful entrepreneurs and geniuses are drop-outs from school. Of course, drop-out does not guarantee you a successful life.
But since I have already paid the bill, I shall continue this journey for 3 more months. I still have to study for my quiz tomorrow. Make full use out of those plans to minimize the loss for myself.
Life of a puppet. How sad.